September 26, 2005. Five AM.

"Please don’t ever doubt my love for you. Please also never ask me to promise you my future. Please also never promise me or anyone else your future."

I may not be waiting, but I’m definitely still listening.

Note to my parents, 1995.

Note to my parents, 1995.

Every argument.

A: I blame my parents. B: Naturally. A: Nurturally.


Last night I dreamed of you. You said, “I love you… Wait! No I don’t.”

My dreams and my reality are way too fucking similar.


I told her today that I’m leaving. I want to get away from this place and these people. She said, “I’d like to get away from here with you.” I couldn’t tell her she was one of the reasons I need to leave. The best part was when she kissed me. I knew she would hate my turning her down. She’s trying to get it back. It ain’t never comin’ back. You missed the train.




So I knew this guy who was possessed once. At first, it wasn’t so bad. He became a vegetarian, eating grass mostly, and permenantly moved into his front yard. Then, his appearance started to change. His eyes seemed to be slowly shifting to the sides of his head and his hair grew thicker, covering his entire body. The bad shit really started to go down when he began to dig. He created an intricate system of tunnels and holes in his lawn and would pop out of them every now and then, scaring the tiny babies walking by his house. Soon people started disappearing. I watched him do it once. He saw a neighborhood bully coming down the street and immediately took to making very unpleasant, high-pitched yelping noises. The kid walked up to him and pushed him, called him a freak. Well, possessed guy just stared at this dude, kept yelping, drew himself up as tall as he could, and had this fucking crazy look in his eye. The bully realized he needed to back off, but he fell into one of the holes and the yelper just started shoveling dirt on top of him, buried him alive. Now, I’m thinking this dude is possessed by some crazy evil shit, so I call my priest over to my place. I take him to see the man. Priest says this dude isn’t possessed by any devil. He’s possessed by a prairie dog. A fucking prairie dog. So I’m standing in front of this prairie man and just can’t help but laugh. And I tell him that prairie dog possession is for wimps who aren’t man enough to get possessed by real monsters. And then he bit me. And I contracted rabies.


I still go by the name you gave me. Even though I have many names, and I’m not even particularly fond of the one I got from you, I still use it most often. Just because it fell from your lips. Willingly giving myself over to you. You only exist in my past. Now you have reverted back to your birth name. No more sunshine. No more voodoo. There is a lot invested in the name.

"Bertha is not my name. You are trying to make me into someone else, calling me by another name. I know, that’s obeah too."

Themed Playlist: Time.

A product of my own wasted time.

Three Hours - Nick Drake
Time - Benny Benassi
Time To Get Away - LCD Soundsystem
Summertime Clothes - Animal Collective
One Minute Man - Missy Elliott feat. Ludacris
That Time - Regina Spektor
The First Five Times - Stars
5 Years Time - Noah And The Whale
Night Time - The xx
Hand-Me-Down Time - The Avett Brothers
The 16th Hour - Dead Mau5
Time Stops - Explosions in the Sky
Take Time - The Books
We Suck Young Blood (Your Time Is Up) - Radiohead
Modern Times - The Black Keys
Where’d All The Time Go? - Dr. Dog
Some Other Time - X
Long Long Time - Linda Ronstadt
One Minute To Midnight - Justice
Seconds - Le Tigre
3/5 Of A Mile in 10 Seconds - Jefferson Airplane
Totem On The Timeline - Klaxons
Passing the Time - Cream
Time To Get Ill - Beastie Boys
25 Or 6 To 4 - Chicago
First Few Desperate Hours - The Mountain Goats